2 – The Loss of Companions
The Doctor watched as his human duplicate kissed Rose. It was something he’d always wanted to do. But to do that, to show her his true feelings, to love her as she deserved to be loved would have destroyed them both. It hurt to literally see himself and yet another man kissing her. But Donna had been right. He had given Rose the best gift he could ever give her: the part of himself that could love her without killing her. Before the couple broke from their kiss, he and Donna walked into the TARDIS and locked the door.
When Donna’s brain began to overload, the other shoe dropped, so to speak.
Dalek Caan had said, “One will still die…”
He knew if he didn’t act quickly, Donna would die. She begged not to leave him. But he dare not leave her in the state she was in. She begged not to have to go back to her old life. But to not take her there would be to allow her death. He could not allow that to happen. Not to Donna. Not to the one companion who was more like him than any of them had ever been…and that was before the meta-crisis.
He could not allow her to die, so he took her memories. Any memory that had to do with him he wiped from her brain. It hurt to take himself from her memory. It hurt to wipe the sister, partner, and best friend she had become. He died a little as he wiped all traces of who he was to her and what she was to him.
The moment he said goodbye and she barely reacted was almost as much of a stab to his two hearts as seeing Rose kiss his human duplicate. He walked out into the cold, cold rain and let his tears fall. Wilfred couldn’t see them with the water running down his face, but somehow, the old man knew.
“…every night, Doctor, when it gets dark and the stars come out, I’ll look up on her behalf,” Wilfred said, tears gathering in his own eyes, “I’ll look up at the sky and think of you.”
“Thank you.”
It was all he could say. Any other words would have sounded wrong at that moment, and he didn’t think he could get much more than that out anyway. He stepped into the TARDIS and she took off…to where he didn’t know and rather didn’t care. As he took off his jacket, now completely soaked from the rain, he looked up into the sky, hidden by the mechanism of the TARDIS, and called to the Archangel.
“Metatron,” he screamed, “you’re a bastard!”
“Doctor,” the Archangel said in his head, “you knew this was coming.”
“They always leave. I get it. But damn it,” he said, the tears he hadn’t shed for years falling down his face, “both in the same day? The two I loved in two different ways? We could have been perfect together, the three of us. One who was my hearts and the other who was my soul. And now, I’m alone again.”
“You have me.”
“You aren’t what I want. I don’t need you!” he bellowed. He didn’t know what he needed. However, he just wanted nothing to do with this creature who wanted to possess him.
“I don’t want to possess, Doctor,” the Archangel said sweetly, “Indeed, I want to live.”
“Live?” the Doctor said in confusion.
“With you as my Vessel,” Metatron said, “I can enjoy the world that my Father created, learn the Universe you insist he didn’t. All the things I wrote about in the ‘Book of Life’ will be ours to see and enjoy.”
“I’ve seen most of them,” the Doctor said peevishly, “I don’t want to see them alone.”
“You won’t,” Metatron said, “You’ll see them with fresh eyes, like you’ve never seen them before.”
“I can get a companion to do that.”
“But you’re alone now.”
“Just shut up,” the Doctor said grumpily.
“For now,” Metatron said. The Doctor could swear he heard the angel smirk. He continued, “Regardless, I’ll wait. I’ve been around a very long time, Doctor. I am nothing, if not patient.”
The wings brushed the back of his hand in comfort. The Doctor knew the Archangel would never give up on him…and that made him feel a little bit lighter.
